Trouble Hearing the Good

I went out to dinner last night with my relatively new (and really wonderful) boyfriend and a friend from teaching and her girlfriend. This friend had been supportive in my freaking out about getting to know someone in a dating situation thing and is also a really cool person and one of the best teachers I’ve ever known so I wanted them to meet each other.

My teacher friend told lots of stories about how crazy our job was – she came my last year in the classroom and just left that school last month. Then she said something that surprised me – or at least I think she did.

I think she said that I was one of the reasons she went into teaching. She had been working as a salesperson for educational software and our school bought it. She came and set it up and told me last night for the first time that she was watching how I interacted with my students and that’s part of why she went into teaching.

She said that when she came to work at our school a couple of years later, I was like a celebrity to her. She had specific examples of what I did with the kids and how I talked to them that she admired and they are things I totally remember.

I don’t, however, remember a lot of details from what she said last night because I was, while being incredibly honored, so uncomfortable with someone giving me this kind of praise. It felt undeserved and uncomfortable and I just had trouble hearing it. To the point where I actually can’t remember much.

I think I’d like to get to the point where I can hear about how great I am. It makes me sad that I’m so much more comfortable and accustomed to hearing about my flaws.

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2 Responses to Trouble Hearing the Good

  1. Alison says:

    Hi, this isn’t a comment on this specific post; I just wanted to say that I stumbled across your blog and it’s been really meaningful to me as I too am a Christian with clinical depression and anxiety. I’ve had a difficult month and as always during these times, I’ve been trying to think about the connection between my faith and the struggle. So many of my fellow believers just don’t get it. Several of your posts have given me a lot to think about. I look forward to continue reading!

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