A few weeks ago, my Bible study had a discussion on creativity – God’s creativity, since he is, after all, the Creator. We also discussed our creativity as children of God and creative people, created in God’s image. There was the predictable comments about how people don’t think they’re creative because they’re not artistic, etc.
I had a lot to say but I didn’t say anything. Creativity feels like a dangerous topic to me. My mom’s family made a living by being creative. They were all, every one of them, artists. Amazing artists. Very talented, accomplished, professional artists, for the most part.
In some ways, they’re everything I want to be. There are parts of me I think I can only express through art, but I don’t have the talent, experience, or training to do so. I have feelings that could only be expressed visually and I have some basic ideas, but I am not able to create a representation of what I feel – at least, not as well as I’d like to. It’s possible that my standards are too high, but I was raised around some truly amazing artists.
But there’s a dark side to creativity also. At least, in my family, there was. It seemed like the more talent someone had to express the beauty and pain of life, the more pain was present to describe. I don’t know if that goes together in other settings, but in my family, it did.
So, the word creativity sort of makes my heart hurt. Partly because I have a need to express my emotions in a creative way that I don’t seem to be able to do. And partly because the idea of creativity makes me really sad.
Does anyone else look at beautiful art and wonder “How much pain was the artist in when he created this?