Feeling Better

It’s been a rough couple of weeks and, combined with the autumn weather*, had me scared that the depression was coming back. Very scared.

But today I’m feeling better. And it used to be that “better” meant sort of numb and just not horrible. Now, better feels good. It’s strange. It’s not normal. It scares me too because it’s so new and strange.

But I’m grateful.

*I know tons of people who get depressed in the winter and early spring when it is cold, gray, rainy, etc. I don’t know anyone else who gets depressed when it’s sunny outside with the smell of fall. Everyone I know loves that. And I do too – I love the smell… but it also feels like a bad omen.

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3 Responses to Feeling Better

  1. I tend to get depressed when the spring flowers appear. Everybody else is saying ‘how pretty’ or ‘hurrah spring is here’ and I feel decay all around. It doesn’t make sense, and that makes me feel worse.

  2. broken saint says:

    Exactly. Because then it’s not just that you’re depressed, it’s also that something’s wrong with you that no one else understands. I always think – if I have could get depressed, couldn’t I just get depressed NORMALLY?

  3. […] One year ago: Feeling Better […]

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