Today was Thanksgiving and it was a very mixed day for me.
It was wonderful to be with friends – a lot of friends – from many different backgrounds and have good food and a lot of time together. It was wonderful that my incredible loving dog is doing much better. I had good conversations with people who I don’t usually talk to or necessarily have much in common with.
At the same time, I was watching people interact with their significant others and feeling that void in my life. I heard people say they were thankful for their spouse, their fiancee, their children, and their new houses. And it was harder for me to feel thankful for anything I had because it felt like God has forgotten me in what I really want. I don’t want to be that way – I want to be able to be excited for other people at the same time as I’m thankful for totally different things in my life. But I don’t feel like that’s a possibility. I just feel forgotten and empty and alone.
I don’t like the holidays.