Measuring Up

It is so easy to compare myself. Now that the ex is dating someone (and we’re still in the same group of friends, he and I), I see what he does for her that he didn’t do for me. And I assume it must be because she’s better than me. She’s more worthy of love. She’s more worthy of his love. All of the above. Things that were a struggle between us that now he does so well with her – it could be because he’s learned something but I keep choosing to believe that it’s all merit-based and that I’m just not good enough.

It’s the same pattern I’ve had my whole life, really. Their parents don’t yell at them; it must be because they are better and more deserving than me. I’m not married while all of these people I know have found partners – I guess I’m not good enough for anyone to want me.

I want to change the thinking but I don’t know how.

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