March 2, 2011

As I am doing better, I am finding that I had two kinds of friends when I was really really depressed.

1. The kind who really wanted to see me better and are now rejoicing with me that I am better.

2. The kind who were really comfortable with their role as caretaker and are exceptionally uncomfortable with me now that I’m better.

The second type of friends, in my recent experience, keep telling me that I’m not really doing better and that I shouldn’t be talking about lowering my meds.  Or they just kind of left.  I won’t get into details and specific examples because, quite honestly, I don’t want to waste any more time and thought on that.  However, I am realizing that I am really hurt by these people.  I guess it’s not totally  unexpected – alcoholics are warned that their family may be uncomfortable with their sobriety even when these same family members have been asking for the alcoholic to stop drinking.  Change is hard for people.

But the kinds of people I want and need as friends want what’s best for me, not what’s most comfortable for them.  It’s hard to feel this when I just want them to be overjoyed for me that depression is not destroying my life any longer.