As I’ve been feeling better, I’ve been appreciating certain things more often. I went to a lake on a hot day and floated in the water by myself. I got a new pillow and am totally enjoying the softness and comfort of it. For some reason, it’s reminding me of some “strategies” that people used to give me when I was really depressed. I was often told to take a hot bath because that would make me feel better. There were other suggestions too but that’s the one that sticks in my head for some reason.
I think these people meant well but they obviously had no idea what bad condition I was in. I was desperately trying to keep myself going, while I wanted to die, I wanted be erased, I wanted to never have existed. I was considering electroshock therapy. A bath just wasn’t going to do it.
I know it’s hard to understand if you haven’t been there. It’s even hard for me to understand now when I’m not in that place – it’s hard to remember. But it’s a bit like asking someone to fight AIDS with an aspirin.
LOL… my dad tells me to eat healthy breakfasts and get more exercise! Yeah, that would be good for ANYONE, but it won’t cure depression!