Too Much and Too Long

November 18, 2011

My depression is managed now. Managed so well that I feel like I’m cured… except that I’m still on medication. But there seems to be some kind of PTSD that happens after too much depression. I am afraid of it creeping up and grabbing me again.

Another thing I’ve noticed is that I’m angry that it took so long to feel better.  I am 36 years old and I’ve been not depressed for almost two years.  ALMOST TWO YEARS.  And depressed for the rest of my life.  Really severely depressed from the time I was very very young.  That is too long – far, far too long.

In a lot of ways, I feel like God rescued me but it was too much for too long.  I don’t understand.