Too Much and Too Long

My depression is managed now. Managed so well that I feel like I’m cured… except that I’m still on medication. But there seems to be some kind of PTSD that happens after too much depression. I am afraid of it creeping up and grabbing me again.

Another thing I’ve noticed is that I’m angry that it took so long to feel better.  I am 36 years old and I’ve been not depressed for almost two years.  ALMOST TWO YEARS.  And depressed for the rest of my life.  Really severely depressed from the time I was very very young.  That is too long – far, far too long.

In a lot of ways, I feel like God rescued me but it was too much for too long.  I don’t understand.

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2 Responses to Too Much and Too Long

  1. Wendy Love says:

    What an interesting post about feeling better and yet not…. I can kind of understand it. Even when the depression lifts, it is sometimes a difficult thing to remember how to live without it. It is a whole new world. Maybe we need to add that to our depression strategies: “How to live when you are not depressed!” I have just dropped in on your blog and I will be back. Thanks for sharing such honest insights.

  2. Mari says:

    Followed your link from Stuff Christian’s Like. Depression is a topic near to me as someone who suffers it and as a counselor helping others in it. I could so relate to your comment about having PTSD about depression; had not heard it put that way before! Thanks for sharing your journey, I am sure many will be blessed to read that they are not the only one.

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