Mixed Feelings

I’ve been thinking a lot lately (which can be a dangerous thing).

I keep trying to be OK with being single and it keeps being hard to do. Which is a little strange because I really do know how hard relationships are and how it is very very easy to feel more lonely in a relationship than out of one. But sometimes, I just really miss having that one person who I come first for, who knows me really well, who seems like the perfect match for me (even if I find out later that he really wasn’t).

I have so many things going for me. I have really incredible friends. God has blessed me with a fantastic community and that’s something that a lot of people would really like to have. I have been self-employed for over 5 years now and am still making a living at it! Things are going well. But it’s hard to be single.

I keep wanting to not idealize relationships and marriage – I’ve been miserable and depressed in relationships and happy outside them. I also want very much to trust God and believe that he has what is best for me in store. But it’s something I just keep struggling with.

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One Response to Mixed Feelings

  1. Betty says:

    Thanks for sharing your struggle. It is a real struggle that I am sure many Christians have. God has his own time and his own plan and it’s not always easy to see what it is. We all struggle in having faith in God’s plans because we have our own ideas. I struggle with this as well with my life. Keep sharing!

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