please pray for me tonight.
This feels like a silly thing to ask for prayer for with all the violence against humans in the world and I have been mourning the Connecticut situation as well. But closer to home while not nearly on the same spectrum, I have an emergency dog situation and she is part of my family.
I’ve been doing really intense training with my dog around her aggression issues because she is really strong and could really hurt someone. And attacks other dogs when she is afraid. She attacked my neighbor’s dog today and wouldn’t let go. In the process, she bit both me and my neighbor on the hand. My neighbor had to get two stitches so there was a police report but since it’s her first offense they don’t mandate anything like putting her down.
However, they don’t know it’s not her first offense. It’s her third, and there were a number of other very close calls. In two of the cases, she bit a person as we were trying to separate them, and drew blood both times. I talked to my dog trainer as well as an dog aggression specialist who is really good and knows her and they both, with much crying on all sides, said that she needs to be put down. They added that I’m the one who makes the final decision and that they’ll support me in any way they can but I think they’re right.
My heart is breaking. I love this dog, and I lost my other dog two years ago and it feels like yesterday. When she’s not aggressive, which is 98% of the time, she is sweet and loving and likes to sleep in front of the space heater and snore. I love her so much. But, while everyone’s OK today, if there had been a child in front of the dog she was trying to attack, things would not be so OK. She could have easily broken my fingers or taken a few off. I’ve never seen her this bad and it was terrifying.
I don’t know if I have the strength to do the right thing and put her down and I don’t know if it is the right thing, although I suspect it is. I know she’s a dog and she won’t know what’s going on. She loves going to the vet and then she’ll go to sleep but then I have to go home without her. Please pray for strength and for knowledge of what to do. And for no guilt.
And I feel like, “Really, God, really?? With all the tragedy in the world you couldn’t leave me my most immediate source of comfort? You couldn’t leave me my dog who I love?”
again, i know it’s just a dog but I love her.