Last week, the time changed so that we got one more hour of sunshine, and at the same time, the sun came out and the temperatures warmed up. It was lovely. It was wonderful. It was… healing.
I don’t know if it was the increase in meds that I got, or the weather, but I’m grateful. Really, really grateful.
This has not always been the case. When I was severely depressed in college, I remember one day when it was a beautiful day – warm but not too hot, sunny but with pleasant shade, just perfect. And I wanted to die.
I kept thinking, wondering why I was so miserable on such a beautiful day. Why did I no longer want to be alive, when it was a picture-perfect day, and I couldn’t think of anything that was wrong… except that I wanted to die.
So, I know that the sunshine won’t always solve things for me. In fact, most of the time, it hasn’t. But this time, it did.