I thought I’d write it down so I had a better idea and maybe less “free-floating” anxiety, so, here is a partial list of reasons I’m anxious:
- I’m packing for vacation and might forget something
- The airline might lose my suitcase
- I had a blood vessel burst in my eye and it looks gross although it’s benign
- The doorknob on the bedroom that my new housemate will move into doesn’t work and the landlord isn’t answering me
- Something I sent priority mail got lost and the post office is not answering me
- My dog is 7 years old and won’t live forever
- What if my housing costs go up and I have to move out of the area?
- What if I have to move and can’t find a place that will take dogs?
- I have to figure out how to market the book I wrote
- I have to drive on the wrong side of the road in a couple of days
- I have to remember what I said I’d get people for souvenirs
- My nephew and nieces will grow up in a world that is not safe
- I might need to buy disability insurance because I’m self-employed
- I don’t know how to buy disability insurance
- Do I need long-term care insurance?
- I might not be able to sleep on the plane
- I’m spending money on therapy and it might not be helping me so I might be wasting my money
- I might get into a car accident one day
- I will miss my dog when I’m gone
- I might write another book
- I might never write another book
- I might have way too much work
- I might not have enough work
Clearly I could keep going and going. And this is not a particularly stressful time, this is just my head ALL THE TIME.
Anyone else end up like this? Any great coping mechanisms? Today I lay on my bed for about an hour holding my dog’s paw (she has this new thing where she loves holding hands) which helped. Temporarily.
The interesting thing is that I don’t think anyone who doesn’t know me well can tell! I hide it pretty well.