A friend of mine was listening to a podcast recently that ended with self-care advice, something like, “Take your meds, call your person, go to bed.” I’m paraphrasing and probably getting it wrong, but the “your person” part has stuck with me.
You see, I don’t have “a person.” I have a lot of friends and am very very fortunate that way. But I don’t have one person and I miss that.
I have very very good friends, including the person who told me about this podcast signoff. But she has a boyfriend. And another has a husband. Etc. I’m in a lot of people’s close group, but I’m not the first for anyone.
I used to. I loved that about my ex; I could call him when something was exciting, wonderful, awful, sad, or funny. I could process life with him and I loved it.
I miss that. I’ve had some great successes with the book I wrote and I’m itching to call him. But we’ve been broken up for two years.
Today there was an earthquake. It was a small earthquake, just 3.8, and it was very short, but it was centered close to here and shook my house pretty hard. I was working with a student and I instinctively grabbed her by the arm, hard, and pushed her under the table. (teacher instincts) . She was surprised (and so was her mom) but I think they understood why.
My dog was no help. She slept through it, woke up when it was over and said WOOF, and went back to sleep.
The whole thing was so strange and frightening and funny that I found myself reaching for my phone to call him and process it. But of course I can’t.