Loneliness

August 30, 2018

This is a very interesting article. I’m really glad we’re studying loneliness now. It’s a public health crisis.

https://www.citylab.com/life/2018/08/single-people-arent-to-blame-for-the-loneliness-epidemic/568819/

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Fear

August 16, 2018

A very partial list of things I’m afraid of right now. Really afraid of:

-earthquakes (I live near San Francisco)

-becoming financially bankrupt

-being alone forever

-someone I love dying

-being evicted

-not being able to work

-becoming disabled

-not being able to afford rent

 

What do all these things have in common? Aside from being alone, none of them have happened yet. They’re all in the future. I am 100% living in the fear of the future and not the relative calm of the present.

Jesus says not to worry about tomorrow. Jesus says that God will provide for his children just like he provides for the lilies and sparrows. Yet here I am, worrying.

 


Getting Up Every Day

August 5, 2018

I’m in a sort of mild depression now, no doubt at least partially fueled by my forced inactivity. It’s not the kind of depression that makes me want to die, but it is the kind that makes me not want to get up in the morning.

Everything seems a little overwhelming, and very anxiety-producing. Everything feels lonely. Everything looks fine, not just to outsiders but also to me! I have a nice place to live, I mostly have enough money, I have a great dog, I have friends, and I have fantastic nieces and nephews. But something isn’t right in me.

I think it’ll go away. I think it’ll be better again and probably won’t take too long. But in the meantime, getting up every day is hard. It’s not impossible, but it’s hard.